Hi

 

“Hi.”

Just that, in my DMs. From a guy I don’t know IRL and have never had any public exchange of information or ideas with.

After a few attempts to follow up on this type of gambit, my automatic reaction now is to disconnect from anyone who does this. Why?

Would you walk up to a complete stranger on the street or at an event and just say “hi” and stand there? Really? Don’t you think your audience would consider that creepster behavior?

If you want to engage with a new acquaintance, comment on their posts in a way that’s thoughtful and genuine. That boosts their exposure and shows that you are interested in what they have to say.

Good reasons to DM me would be if you want to ask for an introduction to someone, introduce someone you think would be helpful or interesting for me to know, share some thought-provoking content that you are pretty sure I’ll be interested in, seek my advice, invite me to an event, or explore the idea of collaboration. And you would only do any of these things if you had already established a dialog in the public space of the platform.

“Hi” is just a random demand for my attention. You’re not offering me any incentive to engage with you. You haven’t proven yourself worthy of my time and attention in a public forum. You’re invading my day, and it’s an unwelcome intrusion.

Odd that I’ve NEVER had a woman do this.

What Are You Trying to Sell Me?

 

Facebook has been blitzing me with ads for four days. This is unusual. Usually their ad blitzes only last about 24 hours. It’s a bit of sport, blocking them all.

I’m beginning to think that FB has stock in the ad blocking apps. That would make way too much sense.

I don’t watch TV, and I live where nobody bothers with billboards because there just aren’t enough eyeballs to see them. So my exposure to advertising is mostly limited to what I see online. That’s bad enough.

I have a friend who enjoys finding old adverts from the 50s-80s and posting them on social media. They are mostly horrifying (Beatles-inspired wigs for men was a thing?) although there are a very few that stand the test of time. They’re terrible not just for the production value but also for the incredibly biased and simple-minded content.

Today’s ads are different but just as bad. Especially during a pandemic.

“Stress will make your skin age, so use this product!”

“Improve your immune system with our proven herbal system!”

“Cozy and happy at home with these 400 thread count sheets!”

“Show your colors by wearing these Dissent earrings everywhere you go!”

“Wear this crystal bracelet to align your energies!”

“Get fit in 4 weeks at home with this scientifically proven device!”

“In Zoom meetings all day? Wear this posture-correcting corset!”

“Stand out in these hand-embroidered face masks made by Mexican artisans!”

And the favorite of online advertising during a pandemic - “Due to COVID, we have to discontinue operations/this product line. Buy now and save big!”

Seriously, it’s enough to make me completely lose faith in humanity and go live in a cave.

I’m sure all these companies are using “big data” to figure out who to market to. They clearly know I’m a middle-aged white female who leans left. But what is the point of targeted marketing if you’re going to insult me? Your advertising clearly reveals your bias – that people of my demographic tend to be overweight, obsessed with appearance, ignorant of science, and guilty about our domestic shortcomings. Is this advertising or gaslighting? I’m smart enough to know that burning sage won’t protect me from a virus and woke enough to know a new bra isn’t empowerment. Honestly, it’s offensive.

Seriously y’all. Use your big data to engage with me respectfully. Try to sell me products that add real value to my life if you are going to market to me. Otherwise, go rethink your business strategy and come back when you’ve got it right. In the meantime, at least the block button still works.