Sometimes, when I’m feeling generous, I think guys don’t
realize the thousands of annoying or downright toxic, sexist things they do
every day. Sometimes (like at about 8pm on a Thursday) I think that they know
exactly what they’re doing.
Seriously, a guy pinged me today on IM to ask me about some
test cases, and said, “have a great day.” Which was nice enough. Then he added “keep
on smiling that great smile.” It’s a good thing he was about 9500 miles away because
I would have gladly smacked him. But that’s an obvious example. Too easy. The every day shit
is usually a lot more subtle.
He’s the guy who’s your junior offering to help you with a
task while implying that he could do it better.
He’s the colleague who asks you insanely detailed questions
in a meeting just to try to trip you up in public.
He’s the manager who says things like “I know you’re new to
this role” when you have in fact trained hundreds of people to do this job.
He’s the team mate who’s never rude to you but never responds
to your inquiries while replying instantly to your male colleague.
He’s the guy who constantly interrupts you in meetings until
you have to be quite publicly rude to make yourself heard.
He’s the guy who gets in your space in the office, pushing
his stuff onto your desk, standing too close in the hallway, putting his cell
phone and coffee next to your computer in the meeting.
He’s the manager who always hires women of one particular
type.
He’s the stakeholder who, even though you have successfully managed
dozens of big projects, refuses to believe that you can manage this one.
They’re the guys who, during the break, all huddle together
to talk earnestly and importantly, away from the women in the group.
When you read another article bemoaning the lack of women in
tech, realize that after years of dealing with the constant negativity of
sexism, women just get sick of it. Literally sick. Not just frustrated, but
waking up in the morning nauseated with stress and dreading another day doing
the work that they once loved.
We’re good at what we do. Woman-led projects are less likely
to be abandoned, more likely to be completed on time, on budget, and meeting or
exceeding expectations. Woman-built code is more likely to be accepted by
customers. Woman bosses are preferred by employees and have higher levels of
employee engagement.
This in spite of the constant barrage of disrespect.
I have yet to work for a company that had any kind of
training to address sexism in the workplace.
Do better.
