Occasionally, one of my friends will post one of those “I’m
not perfect, I have curves, I don’t wear makeup” memes on Facebook, and dozens
of people will like and share. While I appreciate the concept of being proud of
who you are, I never share or comment or like these things. Why? Well, two reasons.
One is, I’m actually kinda fit and by grace of DNA on the tall and lanky side.
The other reason? Because it’s ALWAYS women who post that meme. Think about it.
Do guys you know post on Facebook “I’ve gained a few pounds and I can’t see my
toes anymore and I never shave on the weekend, but my looks don’t define who I
am!” I mean, really. Not that guys
don’t care about their looks, or never feel insecure, or crave a little validation.
Of course they do. Tell a guy that you like the shirt he’s wearing, and he’ll
smile for a day. But they don’t feel the need to be publically defensive about
their looks, or self-deprecating, or boastful either. What kind of things do my
male friends post? Pictures of their dogs, their cars, their kids, the artwork
they’ve painted, the cover of their latest album, pictures of the bathouse they
built for a friend…..it’s about what they do, not what they look like.
My friends who post these “I’m not perfect” memes are, in
fact, beautiful, every one of them. Smart, accomplished women. Women with
advanced degrees. Women who run their own companies. Women who are comfortable
talking into a microphone in front of an audience of hundreds. Women who
support their families. Women who can manage a classroom full of children.
Women who inspire and motivate and educate me. Why should they call attention
to the stretch marks that I will never see? I have some too. I’m a 46-year-old
mother and proud of the scars and physical signs of a life well-lived. My body
carries me on this incredible journey called life. I try to treat it with
respect, and it keeps on operating, every day, for which I am constantly
grateful. If I were built like a model, could this body do all the things I
need it to do?
