Ignorance is not benign

Ratfucking 101

At the risk of pissing off everyone I know, I’m going to tell the stories of two men I knew who were falsely accused of rape. It doesn't happen often, and it's a small percentage compared to all the actual rape survivors I know, but false accusations are real.

Story number 1 – A young soldier was stationed far away from her fiancé. She developed a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship in the interim. The friend understood that she was looking for a little action with no commitment. But the fiancé found out about it somehow, so she told him that her lover had date raped her in order to exonerate herself. Oddly enough, although she ended up marrying her fiancé, it didn’t go well.  She had another messy affair and they ended up divorcing.

Story number 2 – A soldier stationed in Hawaii developed an enthusiastically consensual relationship with a woman in his unit. He found out she was married and broke it off. Angry at being jilted, she demanded that he continue the relationship with her or she would accuse him of rape. Terrified, he went to his commanding officer and laid his cards on the table, figuring he’d rather take the rap for adultery (punishable under the UCMJ) than for rape. Fortunately for him, this wasn’t the first time the woman’s behavior had been an issue and he was not charged.

I knew both of these gentlemen for a long time. I served with them, spent time in the field, in the 577, at the range, in the SCIF, sleeping in the same GP-large tent with them. Neither had ever before or has since been accused of any kind of assault or harassment. The women in these situations wanted what they wanted, but weren’t willing to take any responsibility for their actions. They were narcissists, only concerned with their own well-being. Anyone who says only men are like this, that only men are sexually aggressive, devious, or dishonest, are as guilty of sexism as any trash-talking frat boy.

When I point out, in the infamous case of Al Franken and Leeann Tweeden, that character matters, folks are fast to call me a slut shamer and a rape enabler. Which is bullshit. Clearly, a woman of any sort of character can be a victim of assault or rape. I don’t care how many racy photographs she’s posed for. Look at my own blog, for chrissake. But, given the circumstances of the situation, it’s fair to ask, what are her motivations? Is she the kind of person who would lie for personal gain? It appears that she is, and so I wait for more information before making any judgements. If this makes me an anti-feminist rape enabler, then bring it. 

I may not be old enough to remember Watergate, but I’ve read All the Presidents Men and I know what ratfucking is. Tweeden is a regular on Sean Hannity’s show, and Hannity posts this? In case you haven’t noticed, there’s a war on, and your foolish idealism will be used against you.